This is for 2 reasons:
1. I don't want to be dependent and also I want to be in check in case I get addicted or have some side effects (good Idea as it turned out)
2. I don't like the feeling or Ritalin when I don't have a tasks to do or when the amount of interference is outside of my control
So at the weekend, the fist day was alright but I got unbelievably tired by the end of the day, I never get this tired. I don't think that I recall even one such occurrence.
On the second day I was all day alone with the kids. I got snappy. Not regular snappy when the kids do kid stuff and you react and make things work. I mean 0 to 100 in half a second, skipping all the rationalization or thought process. So I raised my voice too may times and some of them were barely justified.
Totally overreacted. When my wife came back hoe, I snapped at her too and she had to tell me what she observes (its never like this, its always the other way around)
Conclusion - seems that when I'm not on meds I need to control myself better, basically I need to know that every response might lead to escalated temper. I will see how this develops over other weekends. I believe I can control it knowing what it is.
It's good that I made the rest days decision and I will keep it. At the end of the day I want the full benefit of attention meds but reduce the downside to minimum even if it requires tons of efforts.
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